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| 'Tis the Season |
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“I wish I had a river I could skate away on.” (From “The River,” written by Joni Mitchell.)
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For many family caregivers, the lyrics of Joni Mitchell’s modern Christmas carol ring all too true. Rather than anticipating the holidays, we wish we could escape them.
Our culture conditions us to treat the holidays as a time for family gatherings, family traditions, and family merriment. But society does not always embrace the uncomfortable reality that the holiday season can be a time of great stress, sadness, and emptiness for family caregivers. Holiday reminiscences cause us inevitably to reflect upon how much the quality of our loved one’s life has changed, about the traditions we can no longer maintain, and about how the quality of our own lives has changed. For caregivers who have lost their loved ones, the holidays tend to heighten our grief, loss, and loneliness.
Many caregivers wish to hold on to holiday traditions, but old traditions don't comfortably fit new realities. Holiday preparations can be overwhelming when balanced against daily caregiving responsibilities; caregivers frequently do not have the time or independence to join (or host) family celebrations. For the stressed-out caregiver, trimming the tree becomes just another energy-draining responsibility.
If you find yourself feeling this way, don’t feel embarrassed or self-critical. Talk to someone you love about what you are feeling. If feelings of sadness persist and become unmanageable, talk to your physician and consider seeking professional help to see you through the rough patch. Don’t deny what you are feeling, and don’t withdraw. You might be surprised by how many others all around you are coping with similar emotions.
Caregivers need to accept that every holiday season is different and each can be enjoyed in its own way. It is possible to balance feelings of sadness, fatigue, and even grief with peacefulness, gratitude, and new kinds of joy. Over the next few days, we will discuss coping strategies that may make these new holiday traditions as special as those of the past.
Follow more entries related to caregiver, The Caregiver's Caregiver @www.caregiver2caregiver.blogspot.com
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Posted on Dec 18, 2010 17:36pm by caregiver2caregiver
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